Making Italian Friends vs Expat Friends (My Honest Experience)

This is a tricky subject.

Why? Because not everyone will have the same experience when it comes to making friends in Italy.

So I can only speak from my experience and be honest about it.

Let’s talk about it: making expat friends vs Italian friends.

Making Expat Friends (The Easier Side)

From my experience, making expat friends is much easier.

The biggest reason?

You already have something in common being an expat.

That alone can carry hours of conversation.

You can talk about:

• what you like about Italy
• what frustrates you
• cultural differences
• your experiences adjusting

There’s a shared understanding that you don’t have to explain.

Expat friends also tend to be more open.

Why?

Because they are:

• living away from home
• away from family and friends
• actively looking to build a new social circle

There’s a need there and that makes connection easier.

In my case, I met a lot of expats through work.

I worked as an English teacher, and naturally, there were other expats doing the same thing. That made it easy to connect with people from all over the world.

Another place?

Italian lessons.

Everyone is there for the same reason to learn the language.

And that shared goal makes it much easier to talk and build friendships naturally.

On the other hand…

I’ve found it more challenging to make Italian friends.

Not impossible but definitely more difficult.

And I think you have to be more intentional about it.

This is a big one.

If you’re not fluent in Italian, it creates a gap.

Friendships take:

• time
• energy
• communication

And not everyone is willing to invest that effort, especially if they think:
“This person might leave in a few months anyway.”

You may also want to read the following :

How to Make Expat Friends in Italy (Honest Tips & Real Experience)

The Reality of Living in Italy: 9 Honest Cons No One Talks About

I also think it’s important to say this:

making friends as an adult is hard in any country.

It’s not like:

• school
• university

where friendships happen naturally.

People already have:

• their routines
• their friendships
• their lives

So breaking into that can take time.

Cultural differences can also play a role.

Not everyone feels comfortable building close relationships with people from different backgrounds.

Sometimes it’s:

• uncertainty
• lack of exposure
• fear of the unknown

And while that’s not always said out loud, you can feel it.

I want to be honest here.

As a Black woman, I do believe this has played a role in my experience.

There are people in my life now who, before meeting me, may have:

• never had a Black friend
• never shared a meal with a Black person
• never had that level of personal connection

And sometimes, people come with stereotypes whether they realise it or not.

That can create an extra layer when it comes to building friendships.

This is something I’ve personally felt.

With some Italian women, it can feel like:

“We know each other… but we’re not really friends.”

There’s sometimes an invisible wall.

Not always but often enough to notice.

Another thing to understand:

Many Italians:

• grow up in the same place
• stay close to family
• keep the same friendship groups from school

So there isn’t always a strong need to make new friends especially with expats.

Their circle is already full.

If I’m honest…

I’ve found it easier to make expat friends than Italian friends.

But I also recognise that some of that comes down to my own situation.

For example:

• I didn’t work in a traditional office
• I didn’t study at university here
• my environment didn’t naturally push me into Italian social circles

So things might have been different in another setting.

Making friends in Italy whether expat or Italian is not a one-size-fits-all experience.

Expat friendships can be:
quicker and easier to form

Italian friendships can be:
deeper, but slower to build

Both have value.

And both come with their own challenges.